it's been a long time...

so nearly 2 months has passed since i last blogged.... boy has things changed.

i felt like it has been an eternity and i have come so far and such a long way. and of cos in a small way, scored a mini victory.

work was disgusting when i first got back. my temp margin hit rock bottom and i had no candidates, no clients, no momentum, no motivation, no luck. all i felt was low and down and low and down and low and down. SIGH. it was terrible. i closed last month with a terrible 5k sales. din even manage to cover my own cost. dammit. hello pay cut, bye bye coach bag. it gave the words down and out a whole new meaning. it din help that one of the closest colleagues i ever made in RE left the job. someone so endearing and so close to my heart, someone whom i could click with instantly, and someone who is so not like most of the others who are no doubt nice, but chee-nah piang to a large extent, someone who is also an arts student who could understand my weird lingos and catch phrases. october was horrible.

but God is good and He never fails me when i need Him most.

as i draw closer to the end of november, it occured to me that how far i've come from there. and i m positive without an inkling of doubt that all these would not have been possible if there wasnt a higher being up there watching over me and blessing me and guiding me. this month, i invoiced 4 new clients, hit record sales of 14k, n pulled up devastated temp margin to a more respectable number. i m speechless beyond doubt. n i noe i din do all this all my own.

it has been truly sad how apart from work, my life is really about more work. whenever i take a long walk out of office back to the mrt to go home, i look at the throngs of people, crowd after crowd, and i cant help but wonder why do they seem like they never have to work. it sucks that when i read about my friends from their blogs, i realise that i've slowly been eliminated from their posts and the photographs that they put up. i dunno. i think thats a very telling sign that perhaps, we really do not spend as much time together anymore. and the confirmation of cos would be the fact that anything new i learn abt them these days, i read them from their blogs. dammit. i suck as a fren.

christmas is coming. takashimaya and wisma have been playing christmas carols endless since last month. i bought my christmas cards already. i tot that i would love to send a greeting to all the pple who i miss and mean so much to me. i bought the cards about a month ago and they are still sitting pretty in the bag. i think i really need to get my lazy ass moving. thats the problem with me. i know wat needs to be done but yet i love to procrastinate. i love to push things till the last min. i wish i were more proactive. maybe then i wont have so many regrets and so many if-onlys when i look back on my life next time.

i wanna buy christmas prezzies. but i m damn freaking broke. good luck to all those who are still studying cos u'll be in in for a big shock the moment u graduate. (only applicable to those who took on the gawd damn bloody CPF loan) the minute i start working i m already on a 20k deficit/debt, which i would have to repay. i m trying to to work out something on my own to pay back the bloody loan but right not it juz seems like an impossible sum. it doesnt help that whenever i dun hit my target, the bloody bloodsucker of my company deducts 20% of my already peanuts-as-it-is pay. thats the problem with working, u start takin on more responsiblities. u start shouldering more burden. u start having more problems too. fark.

i think i getting fat. working is so not good for my waistline. i sit at my desk 24-7 and the only exercise i get is when i walk downstairs to get my lunch. it doesnt help that i like to snack on my job. and i eat so much more now as compared to last time when i was still in uni, and not to mention the fact that i used to run 10km every other day. i can feel my fats coagulating on my ass and on my thighs. =( someone buy me a marie france package for christmas!

well... this has been a very senseless post. i juz typed everything and anything that comes to my mind. but it feels good doing this considering how long i havent blogged. yep..even my chatterbox has disappeared. BAH. alright. promise to do this more often. tata.