reality check

so..

i've come to the end of my one month MC. of my one month of stress free, work free, trouble free pseudo recuperation. n well although it meant i had to forgo one month's salary, it was worth it. it was a well deserved break which i so need, and i so deprived myself off by diving into the vicious cycle of climbing the corporate ladder the minute i got out of school.

i cant believe how fast one month just flew past. well... i guess time just ticks at double the pace when u r having the time of yr life.

and that i definitely did.

although i spent most of my time at home in the day watching old drama serials and renting old dvds, it was a luxury in the most ordinary sense. i proudly announce that i conquered the 1st and 2nd season of desperate housewives, 1st and 2nd season of sex and the city, 1st and 2nd season of the OC, 1st and 2nd and 3rd season of smallville, meteor garden, notting hill, serendipity, my best friend's wedding, bewitched AGAIN. ( and so many more i cant remember) yes. i had that much time on my hand. i can imagine myself doing that still when i m old and wrinkly and retired. i can so do it forever.

dun blame me. everyone's busy with projects and tests and term papers and assignments and fyps and theres absolutely no one free in the day to meet up with poor old sherry cherry.

but of cos that wasnt the only way i had been spending my precious break.

i played mahjong. lots and lots and lots of it. haha. be it online or for real. and i think i've played enough to keep me away for at least the rest of this year ( then again, i better not say it too soon. i can never say no to mj. ) and i think i've finally mastered this fine art cos i made such a huge killing last week by winning 90 bucks in one complete round of mahjong. i emptied MORE than the drawers of those poor chaps who were playing with me. i swear they were breaking out in cold sweat by the end of the "dong" round. wahahahah..... i m the winner. hear me rraaawwwwwrrr!

but of cos, it wont be so fun without all that company. amidst the playing, i still believe that the people make the difference. cos its all the swearing, and unabashed unleashing of vulgarities and moans abt their losses that makes it so enjoyable. no restrains. no restrictions. juz us.

then there was this short day trip to malaysia with the usual gang: kong and his new squeeze, seng and jess, renny and chen hong and of cos me and my sweet pea. once again, it's always the company that makes the difference. i m beginning to really enjoy these group hangouts cos its so much fun when there are so many pple ard. n then they start poking fun at one another and all those old-school stories begin to resurface as they try their utmost best to see who can dish out the most embarrassing and unglamourous story abt the other, and whilst doing that, in absolute friendly banter, with complete faith that no one is gonna take offence as in their words "we go way back".  i love being around them.

but yet sometimes i wonder whether i m around them too much.

no doubt i felt very very very loved when i was hospitalised cos there seriously was a massive influx of pple who came to see me. it also dawned on me that maybe i dun have many friends of my own.

the bulk of the people who visited were largely darren's friends.

n that got me thinking whether i was such a dislikeable person.

wat happened to all my friends? from pri sch, from sec sch, from jc, from hall?

n then the truth dawned on me and it made me very very very sad.

i realised i din make the effort to maintain contact with alot of the people who cared and loved and understood me back then. i took them for granted and felt that they din bother too so why should i? and its devastating how i havent talked to pple who left their footprints all over my heart once, for eons. and bridges once broken are so hard to be mended. the connection is juz not there anymore.

and so i made up my mind to make sure i treasure those that i still have and hold them so tightly, n never let them go. after all, i believe its the quality and not the quantity that matters.

and thats y this break was also abt meeting up with old darlings. darlings that, cross my heart and hope to die, i m gonna guard with all my life.

and of cos first up was miss lee wanyi. alrite so u r not that old a darlin. but still one nevertheless.

us at tcc. and yes... toast to many more years of friendship.

and of cos tiffany darlin who came to meet me at tampines for dinner. i love this babe. we can talk endlessly abt nothing seriously. haha. one of the 2 babies who i can pour my heart and soul to from sec school.

awww.... and now this is angie. and in darren's words, "we go way back" too! from pri sch all the way till now. a toast to 13 years of friendship and counting.

and wanyi darling again at nydc. we met up for the isetan sale last week. ahhh.... we are such shopaholics.

and whilst we are on the subject of besties, how can i forget the one crazy, wacky, quirky girl that's practically my soulmate.

haha.. introducing to you, the one and only MIMI. ok u look spastic in this picture my dear, but i love u anyhow. smuacks. haha.

u came and u went so fast. i miss u like no other. its juz not the same without u.

yup... and of cos lots of time went to my sweetheart as well. he spent almost his entire term break keeping me company as he knew it was my last lot of free time, although he was so behind his research for fyp. i really appreciate it darlin.

n yes... even though i may have squandered alot of time watching alot of old shows whilst no one's available to meet up, i would say this break is far from wasted. the time spent catching up was just priceless.

n as tmr marks the day i officially step back into the cruel and mundane working world, i would have to snap out of my holiday mood and start getting vicious and fierce and aggressive again.

IT'S WAR TIME!

of weddings and memories...

i attended the wedding of a distant cousin last weekend. he wasn't exactly someone i grew up with, but at least he was someone who was lingering in the shadows my entire life, and we meet like only once a year during the chinese new year visitations. it was strange seeing someone in my generation getting married. in many ways, i still feel like a kid ( and i would like to believe so)... and getting married juz seemed so grown up. i noe that even as kids, we would fantasize abt our dream wedding. how glamourous and grand and how lovely it was gonna be. i still do ( so i firmly believe i am still kid). and the prospect of it actually materialising seem so distant.

but it is happening.

before we even realise it, our peers are gonna all tie the knot one by one.

its scary how conversation topics have shifted from which subjects to take to which schools to go to which courses to pursue to which prospective career to take on and now eventually, when to get hitched. i think we are all growing up too fast. sometimes we get so caught up with our lives that we ironically, juz let it slip us by.

i think i m just in a pensive mood.

pictures of the lovely wedding anyhow.

candice.shanice ( moi younger sis). me.

nat. jed. me. cuz unite.

candice. me.

and of cos the lovely wedding couple who look so good together. the bride is juz so hot. damn.

the entire wedding spanned 2 days. 1st day (sat) was the church wedding and the 2nd day (sun) was the banquet. and the occasion juz gave us an excuse to take more narcissistic pictures and doll ourselves to the nines. it was such a big affair, i think all the aunties (my mum inclusive) went down to hollywood secrets to get a makeover done. geez... God knows what it would be like when one of us actually get married. its juz a distant cousin and they go to those lengths already.

me. moi baby sis.

moi. candice.

moi. moi sis. nat. damn we are such photo sluts.

ahhh.... and all the cousins unite.

the wedding dinner was held at marriot hotel and the place sure did bring back a hell lot of memories.

i remember the last time i was there.

for the experience of the lifetime.

i remember the late night rehearsals. i remember the dance steps i had painstakingly tried to remember (but failed anyway). i remember the friendly banter between us. and i definitely remember the 10s of thousands of dollars of jewellery which we were sponsored. and i remember the beautiful outfits and gowns. n i remember the toil, the sweat, the time, the effort that made that night happen.

it would never have been the same without you. :)

and of cos the people who mattered most.

dammit. i feel like crying.

convocation

i juz realised i never blogged abt one of the milestones of my life: graduation.

well...

it wasn't exciting or nerve wrecking.

it din feel like i had finally reached the end of the road. ( maybe it would if i had studied harder. HA)

it din feel like a weight had finally been lifted off my shoulders.

it wasnt euphoric.

n it certainly wasnt touching. u noe the typical tearing during graduation when you feel you have come to the end of the journey and yr parents are there to give you a pat on the back and its such a joyous and significant day for them cos if u think abt it, cos its really the day they are relieved of responsibilities towards you.

well... it was none of those.

if it was anything, it was surreal.

everything felt so staged. the photo taking, the bows, the lame speeches, the disinterested clapping, the hand shakes, the silly balloons, the motar board and the entire graduation outfit. it felt so forced. well at least for me. graduation was a pointless ceremony cos none of the people who mattered graduated with me. (save for serm.) and even if they did, they weren't scheduled on the same day as me. the 2 pple who were seated next to me in the auditorium were 2 strangers from psych that i had never spoken to in my entire life. i felt like i was juz going through the ceremony for well... ceremony's sake.

it held no special significance for me.

i think a large part of it has to do with the modular structure in FASS. which results in us not having a fixed group of classmates. every module we take are with different people and by the time we get to noe our coursemates, its a new semester and time to meet new coursemates. we never get to know them beyond the group work and presentations and the projects. seriously, we meet so many every semester, it would be tiring to try to get to noe all of them and wat more try to form lasting friendships.

n so that results in me not having anyone to graduate with. i reckon thats the reason its such a pointless charade to me.

seriously, graduation should be abt yr good close frens whom you have slogged your guts out together during the semester putting on that motar board and throwing it in the air after that shouting " i m done with school!"

damn. its always abt the people.

n the icing on top of the cake would be the fact that i had practically no one to take pictures with. 

BAH.

ah well... pictures anyhow.

at least sam darling was the usher.

ahh... my proud mummy and daddy. i dun think they feel they have relished responsibility. they are still trying to run my life! first things first, my curfew's not yet lifted! *pout*

ohh and the few pathetic people that were graduating with me.

well at least he was there.

come to think of it, i still feel very much like a student. no part of me feels like a working adult.

convo was crap la.

"sorry dude. my chick is not for loan."

a man's gotta do wat a man's gotta do.

26th Aug 2006, Sentosa Luge Ride

i think this day deserves special mention because it marked a day in my life where i was happiest, which i was most pleasantly surprised, which was most enjoyable, which i had the most fun and which made me feel like if were to die there and then, i would leave with no regrets.

sounds kinda morbid i noe, but wat were u expecting when juz a few days before this day i was told i had to undergo a major surgery that may be life altering and even life endangering.

so my sweet pea decided to surprise me by planning a surprise trip to sentosa!

he came to pick me up in the afternoon and declared we were going across the harbour for some joy rides! i eyed him suspiciously at first cos a bag of lazy bones like him would never think of going out or hanging out. his idea of a cool day would be to just laze ard on the sofa with a remote control, with me lounging next to him of cos . so he really caught me by surprise when he decided to take me out that day, on some ride which i was still clueless abt.

and so..... *drums roll...................*

presenting to you the sky ride! it was quite a cool ride cos you get a panoramic view of the whole sentosa island. not for the faint hearted definitely cos you really feel like you are dangling in mid air and all thats over you as a safety barrier is this flimsy looking metal bar.

we actually purchased the sky ride and the luge ride together as they come together as a package. now... the luge ride was some cool shit!! if u r into some action and some fun, you would like the luge ride! it was like some pseudo go-karts thingy but in a luge, which is really some slide thingy. it takes some time to get used to manouveuring the mechanism, but once you get the hang of it, its damn fun!

i was racing darry on the course. i maintain i beat him to the finish. hrmph.

WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE....................

so we were on the sky ride and taking pictures of each other.

ohhh.... sshhhweeettt.

we had to put on the helmet on the luge ride and mr vainpot here refuses to remove his cap. so he has put on the helmet on top of the cap. geezz.... now who's the girl here? THUMBS DOWN.

ohhh.... check out those swweet lips! smoochie.

and thats my sweet pea preparing to go on the luge!

us on the go! i told you i finished first.

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alrite alrite... maybe he did wait up for me and i rushed forward cutting him in front of the finish.

that bloody photo cost us 5 bucks. idiots.

oh and thats me getting of the luge. FUN!

and i was deeply touched by your thoughtfulness and your concern and your love. you made me really very very very happy.

us. =)

i m glad i lived to blog abt this.